Hersens Met Horens
"HERSENS MET HORENS (Brains With Horns)
The nuance between feeling something and feeling obligated to feel something is real. 100% feeling is therefore rarely experienced. This realization hit me out of the blue, I want to regain my freedom.
The quest, now, for a conscious and pure interpretation of reality can only proceed with the greatest possible control. The first step towards once again consciously experiencing my own feelings is to become independent from the influences of my upbringing, the environment where this took place, the environment in which I currently live, and also of external assaults, such as advertising for consumer goods as well as ideologies and behavioral norms.
An individual emotional life is necessary for the renewal of consciousness that my pure desire for reality entails. In this way I am creating for myself the possibility to understand my contemporary world, to personally experience and appreciate it. Of course, this is in the full knowledge that very useful and important information is being withheld by the powers that be. The monopoly by certain bodies on the knowledge of the general evolution intentionally and systematically inhibits overeager individuals. Of course, this is with the full awareness of all the political manipulation, of my powerlessness towards the superpowers and, materially, of my relatively small measure of freedom (which, up until now I had not much taken into account).
But beware! This renewal of consciousness takes place through a highly challenging and risky process. I could lose my personhood (because I am neutralizing every innate point of reference), I could become schizophrenic (because I am constantly looking at myself from a distance), or I might, believing that it is change, unwittingly slip back into my former state of consciousness (so extreme and real that, confusing it with the goal, this could lead to utterly unacceptable positions. The power of the appearance, the surface, can turn people inhuman).
The goal of this entire operation is to generate a new individual with very high observational skills, who is able to offer intelligent and justified critique, always accompanied by the projection of inner truth. This person is capable, without any ulterior motives or opportunistic calculations, to act with an openness towards others that makes every communicative act a joy. And makes this a constructive element in one's own life. This state of non-hostility creates an atmosphere in which my body corresponds to the spirit within it. The motion of instinct-thought-reason becomes superfluous. My body reacts directly, without inner codes. I control my own nature in self-evident freedom. The intellectual dissection of one another's deeds becomes superfluous, they become one with the constantly changing and self-determining universe.
Every brief phase of life forms a coherent whole without rationale, and consists solely of coordinated facets that absorb only the useful elements from the environment and time.
It all therefore becomes a matter of attraction and rejection of useful feelings and circumstances, useful for the sake of my own evolution. Thanks to continuous training, I am gradually and unconsciously beginning to surround myself with the right circumstances, people, contacts and ideas. The optimal use of all energy is guaranteed. I can scarcely even recall the meaning of the word frustration.
Every person can, in this way, acquire the capacity for continuous positive development. In a state of consciousness of sustained inner truth, for the sake of a boundless naturalness and authenticity."
27 May 1976 - 7 January 1999. (AMVK)